That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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