This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So. Much. Porn.
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