There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
