she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's always time for handjobs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
