just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
