All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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