As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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