So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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