OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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