Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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