Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
