I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
