so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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