i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she woke up with a sticky ear
This house was built for laser tag.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
