I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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