i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
