I wannas sexs uuuuu
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
