i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
