areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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