I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
