I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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