What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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