i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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