We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
