there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
