I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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