you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
