i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm always down for nudity.
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