I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am midnight drunk by noon
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
