i wish my penis had a tongue
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Randomize