is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
