i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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