I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
