She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
