He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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