i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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