I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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