You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
