My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
