Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
