I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i came on her dog
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
