If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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