Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
