she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
