My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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