I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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