So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
