Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
