someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
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