I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
