With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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