id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Two words: nipple clamps
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