Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
