Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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