Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
