I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
