My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
