U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
