Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
