The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
