your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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