I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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