i will never coherently bang her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
