i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
